Thursday, June 30, 2011

Book Review - We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

This was a selection from my book club and some of the comments from my fellow members were that they had been holding onto the book because of the heavy content and that is was a very scary topic.  I was fascinated and excited to start reading this book, but when I started I had a distaste my mouth for the main character.  Being a mother I felt offended and disgusted by her feelings of pregnancy and lack of love for when her child was born.  I didn't understand how someone could loath there child and not feel any love or affection for a defenseless human being. 

I wonder can a child be born evil?  Can someone really always have a miserable disposition, do they mean to cause harm to themselves and others.  Can a child really be that calculating.  In this book Kevin is a great manipulator and has everyone under his thumb.  His mother is always skeptical of his behavior and believes that he up to no good, he has a way of doing things but not getting caught.  No one seems to feel comfortable in his presence and he is awkward and uncomfortable around others.  He pretends to be different around his father to have him on his side but really I think he always plays him like a fiddle and makes fun of him.

The book consists of the mother writing letters to the father explaining all of the experiences that she had raising Kevin and what happened in their household.  I wondered all the way along the book exactly where the father was not cluing into the tragedy that befalls the father and sister.  Once I read what happened I wasn't surprised but deeply saddened.  I wonder why he kept his mother alive, to torment her?  He was a cool calculated killer who planned out his assassination and never once thought to kill himself.  He resented that the Columbine shootings happened days after his massacre and took away his spotlight and that he thought they were wimps for killing themselves.  His mind was a complete closed book, he never really told his mother why he killed all those innocent people, and it wasn't until the very end when he actually appeared to have any remorse for his actions.

I would recommend reading this book it gives you other side of the fence when it comes to school killings what the families of the perpetrators go through and how painful there lives are in the aftermath.  There are so many more things I could talk about in this book but I don't want to spoil it for you.

I would love to hear what you think of this book if you have read it already or decide to pick it up.

Take care,

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Something Unique by Lana - Giveaway!!!

Another great giveaway from a fellow blogger and Canadian, wohoo!!!!  Lana has but together a great selection of artist beads and components from her personal stash as a thank you to all of her followers and new friends!!!  This is a very generous giveaway and will make someone very happy indeed.  Also great to make a new friend and connection along the way too!  Make sure you stop by Lana's blog and say hello and enter her giveaway.

Something Unique by Lana - Blog Love Giveaway

Friday, June 17, 2011

Andrew Thornton's Giveway!!!

What a fantastic and generous giveaway that Andrew Thornton has on his blog!!! One lucky commenter is going to win all of that gorgeous stash!!  Please be me, please be me!!!  Check it out for your chance to win!!!

Andrew Thornton - Thursday Giveaway

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Guest Blogger at Pretty Things by Lori Anderson

I feel very honored I was asked by Lori Anderson to be a guest blogger with my post Openness.  I was tickled pink to be asked to be a guest.  I love Lori's blog she is such a caring, giving person as well as a great designer.  If you haven't been following Lori, I would check out her blog, she is also the creator of the Bead Soup Blog Party.

Have a wonderful day!!!

Take care,

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Don't Take Anything Personally

Have you ever read the book the Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz?    I have had my copy for quite sometime and have picked it up and read it several times.  I actually lent my first copy to a friend and decided it was a book that I still needed in my collection.  When I was in my 30's I did alot of soul searching and trying to make sense of my life and look for guidance and advice.  I have picked up this book again feeling that I needed some of its wisdom and some reminding to practice these valuable lessons.  Don't Take Anything Personally is actually the second agreement, and don Miguel Ruiz actually says that Be Impeccable With Your Word is the most important agreement, but I have been thinking a lot about the second agreement and wanted to share some of my thoughts and observations.

I remember when I was In grade 7 and 8 I experienced some bullying from some classmates and how painful it was and how terrible I felt.  I remember phoning my mom at work in the morning and pretending that I was sick so I could avoid the girls that weren't speaking to me.  I remember one time in particular my cousin and I were at the Great Skate on a Friday night having a great time and a bunch of friends from school were there on Monday morning everyone wouldn't speak to me, I found out they thought I was wearing too much makeup and they didn't like it.  Oh how I wish I could tell that young girl to shake it off, and Don't Take Anything Personally it is their garbage and not yours and move on with your life and know that you are wonderful and loved.  But I remember I didn't it was very painful and truthfully those were some of my roughest years of school, and when I entered high school most of those elementary school friends I left behind and met new friends, who some I still have to this day.  I have put these experiences behind me and chalk them up to experience, and with the wonderful world of Facebook I connect with those old friends.  I wasn't an angel I remember partaking in some bullying of my own which are not my proudest moments, but I am not perfect, I am human and you need to grant yourself forgiveness and well as others or you are always stuck.

Learning to not take things personally is such a hard lesson because we live in a world where people are constantly giving us their opinions and it is so hard not to be influenced by what they say.  Something that I read from this lesson that don Miguel shared was that don't take anything personally whether it is good or bad.  Have you ever had someone pay you a nice compliment and you feel a high?  But we can be taken down a notch when someone shares something negative.  Why do we always feel the tendency to share our observations with people and tell what we think is wrong with them.  Sometimes we don't directly criticize but we make jabs and flip comments bruising their character.  From my impression of what don Miguel states we are not supposed to take that personally we are to tell ourselves that what that person is saying is lies and that it is about them and not about you.  Wow, wow, wow!!!  I don't know about you but this has been a hard one for me, up until recently.  In the past I used to internalize what someone said to me and take it too heart, now I let things roll off my back and move on.  I will admit there are some things that hit a nerve but I realize that they are the agreements that I have made about myself and that is why it hits home.  I used to do a lot of negative self-talk when I was younger and I realize how damaging that was to my self-esteem.  I try not to say anything bad about myself, it doesn't always work, if I feel overwhelmed, tired, or grumpy, the crap comes up, but now I try to do something that makes me feel better so I can get out of that rut. 

This lesson as well as the others in this book have been very valuable to me, and I have recommended this book to some of my friends hoping that they will enjoy the book and get something out of it.  I would like to practice these agreements and teach my children so that when they encounter bullying, friendship troubles or their own internal battles that the will remember that they are wonderful, whole and beautiful loving individuals.  That they have an inner light and that life has rough patches but we need those in order to learn lessons and build character and it is taking us on our journey of life.

Have you ever read The Four Agreements?  What did you think of the book, what resonated with you?  Did you find it helpful?  What was your interpretation of Don't Take Anything Personally?

Take care,