Last November I decided to quit my job of 9 years and stay home with my children, but one of my goals for staying home was that I wanted to start designing jewelry full-time. I want this to become the way I make my living and how I contribute to my family financially. I have always had different things that I thought I could do to become an entrepreneur but once I started making jewelry I felt like I had found my calling.
Over the last few months I have questioned my decision because by no means have I made any big money to put back into my family, really what it has afforded me is being able to buy more artist beads semi-precious gemstones and beads. I have thought was it a wise decision to give up a good secure job, with a pension and benefits and you know what I still don't know, I do know that I felt exhausted when I was working that my immunity was always low from lack of sleep and trying to keep up home life, work life, and feeling stretched in so many directions. In all my adult life I have worked, one was out of necessity but the other was I always thought that I was a career focused person, I believe that after working for almost 19 years in a professional setting it has taught me a lot and I believe that the tools that I have learned will carry me forward with what I am trying to build with my jewelry business.
I do know that one thing that I missed from so many years of being a focus driven career person was that I didn't really give much attention to my creative side and maybe that is why I felt so exhausted and worn out before I quit my job I didn't feel like I had much left to give. In the last few years of my career I had two babies, I would be considered a mature mother this time around and boy did I adore those two cute little bundles of joy but I don't know how I kept my eyes opened some day's and functioned.
In terms of my life I have worked for 19 years but I would consider myself a young person and when I was young I had a little mouth to feed so I needed to put food on the table and a roof over our head, and I have never regretted having to do this, but because of the pull to be responsible I don't think I have ever been able to explore my true passions or what I would be really good at. If I asked myself today what I would like to be besides designing jewelry, I have thought about being an event planner, personal life coach, a chef, ceramic artist, lampwork bead artist. A lot of my desires have to do with jewelry making. I would love to do all of these things but money is the biggest roadblock right now.
I have asked myself am I being selfish putting the burden on my husband to be the sole provider for our family. Am I selfish for wanting to pursue my dreams of building a business, being able to be my own boss, fulfilling my dreams and goals. Dream for something bigger in life than just punching a time clock. I ask myself these questions all of the time and feel guilty, I am raising our kids trying to shape them into mature, responsible, loving, kind, conscientious individuals. But the internal battle is always there. This time that I have been off work has been a exploration of myself and a healing, and this process is ongoing. I don't know if I could actually work at a company right now, I don't know if I have the energy or focus to dedicate to what a job would require.
I struggle with my hopes and dreams too, what makes me think that I can be a jewelry designer, there is so many great designers and artists out there. I am a little fish in a big pond and the pond is over flowing with talent. What makes me think that I can make a sufficient enough money to contribute to my family financially. Can I really create a successful business where I have happy customers a great reputation and have fun and fulfillment with what I am doing.
Where does my leap of faith come into play, when I decided to quit my job and pursue my hopes and dreams. I have slowly but surely been trying to build my business. My word of the year that I chose was growth, there were many things that I wanted to grow, I want to grow myself spiritually and mentally. I want to grow my life financially so that I can pursue some of my dreams for myself and dreams I have for my family. I want to grow my skills in designing jewelry. I feel that I need to put my intentions out in the universe, so that I have things in alignment for my goals and dreams.
Have you taken a leap of faith? What do you do when the negative Nelly voice creeps in? Do you have any tips to share for growing your business?