Monday, March 28, 2011

Leap of Faith

Last November I decided to quit my job of 9 years and stay home with my children, but one of my goals for staying home was that I wanted to start designing jewelry full-time.  I want this to become the way I make my living and how I contribute to my family financially.  I have always had different things that I thought I could do to become an entrepreneur but once I started making jewelry I felt like I had found my calling.

Over the last few months I have questioned my decision because by no means have I made any big money to put back into my family, really what it has afforded me is being able to buy more artist beads semi-precious gemstones and beads.  I have thought was it a wise decision to give up a good secure job, with a pension and benefits and you know what I still don't know, I do know that I felt exhausted when I was working that my immunity was always low from lack of sleep and trying to keep up home life, work life, and feeling stretched in so many directions.  In all my adult life I have worked, one was out of necessity but the other was I always thought that I was a career focused person, I believe that after working for almost 19 years in a professional setting it has taught me a lot and I believe that the tools that I have learned will carry me forward with what I am trying to build with my jewelry business.

I do know that one thing that I missed from so many years of being a focus driven career person was that I didn't really give much attention to my creative side and maybe that is why I felt so exhausted and worn out before I quit my job I didn't feel like I had much left to give.  In the last few years of my career I had two babies, I would be considered a mature mother this time around and boy did I adore those two cute little bundles of joy but I don't know how I kept my eyes opened some day's and functioned.

In terms of my life I have worked for 19 years but I would consider myself a young person and when I was young I had a little mouth to feed so I needed to put food on the table and a roof over our head, and I have never regretted having to do this, but because of the pull to be responsible I don't think I have ever been able to explore my true passions or what I would be really good at.  If I asked myself today what I would like to be besides designing jewelry, I have thought about being an event planner, personal life coach, a chef, ceramic artist, lampwork bead artist. A lot of my desires have to do with jewelry making.  I would love to do all of these things but money is the biggest roadblock right now.

I have asked myself am I being selfish putting the burden on my husband to be the sole provider for our family.  Am I selfish for wanting to pursue my dreams of building a business, being able to be my own boss, fulfilling my dreams and goals.  Dream for something bigger in life than just punching a time clock.  I ask myself these questions all of the time and feel guilty, I am raising our kids trying to shape them into mature, responsible, loving, kind, conscientious individuals.  But the internal battle is always there.  This time that I have been off work has been a exploration of myself and a healing, and this process is ongoing.  I don't know if I could actually work at a company right now, I don't know if I have the energy or focus to dedicate to what a job would require.

I struggle with my hopes and dreams too, what makes me think that I can be a jewelry designer, there is so many great designers and artists out there.  I am a little fish in a big pond and the pond is over flowing with talent.  What makes me think that I can make a sufficient enough money to contribute to my family financially.  Can I really create a successful business where I have happy customers a great reputation and have fun and fulfillment with what I am doing.

Where does my leap of faith come into play, when I decided to quit my job and pursue my hopes and dreams.  I have slowly but surely been trying to build my business.  My word of the year that I chose was growth, there were many things that I wanted to grow, I want to grow myself spiritually and mentally.  I want to grow my life financially so that I can pursue some of my dreams for myself and dreams I have for my family.  I want to grow my skills in designing jewelry.  I feel that I need to put my intentions out in the universe, so that I have things in alignment for my goals and dreams.

Have you taken a leap of faith?  What do you do when the negative Nelly voice creeps in?  Do you have any tips to share for growing your business?  

Take care,


  1. Hi Penny, i'm so sorry that your so down in the dumps right now you story closly resembles mine except i had to quit working in the restaurant/catering field due to severe spinal arthritis i have had both hips replaced & 8 years ago broke my neck so pretty much my entire spine excetpt fo 3 vert. are fused i am 49 years old so i was devistated when i could no longer do what i loved making people smile with food. i got into making jewelry about 3 years ago when my daughter bought me a Stringing mag i was always creative with food i design fruit & veggie carvings and edible arrangmnent long before they had the "edible arrangment store" if i only new that could have been me i had that idea long ago anyway back to the jewelry over the 3 years i have become very good i do wire work mostly but don't limit myself i too find financially it's so hard to get it going so many wonderful components i can't afford and to purchace quantity as well i only have my disibility and i am a single mom with my 15 year old still at home of course. i don't know if you only sell on Etsy i don't yet but am trying to get a shop opened i just started blogging and don't have a camera yet so i have no pics of my collection to share but i sell at the local craft fairs all summer i live in ontario Canada and all of the little surrounding communities have local festivals all summer all i do is have a 10x10 tent and some tables make a pretty display i started out 2 year ago with $ store table cloths and not much but after each festival i would purchace a bit more and now i have a beautiful dispaly i do quite well though you have weather issues and wind sometimes & in the winter i do the odd hockey tourney have you tried to go with just earrings to hair salons i just had my first offer from my salon to carry a stand of earrings i just offered her a % and they sell themselves people love a new pair of earrings with a hiarcut if you have 20 pairs at 15$ that adds up each i'm hoping they do well i also alway try to wear my jewelry or at least carry around new creations to show off at the grocery store or doc office my 24 yr old daughter and her friends often borrow stuff to wear out clubing and have come home with money after they sell it right off themselves all i can say is i've been there and very resently too very down in the dumps i stumbled across blogging about a month ago and it has helped me so much just having someone to talk to and share with and not feel so alone and i'm sure you children have been enjoying having you home just the smile on there faces having you there full time and having you feeling healthy is worth more than any monitary value things will look up i hope i have not rambled on too much if you want to carry on this convo or need anyone to talk to send me and e-mail anytime i hoped i helped a bit take care ttfn L:)

  2. I am right there with you both! We feel guilty if we work because we aren't always there for our family and we feel guilty if we don't work because we aren't helping out financially! My kids are in their 20's now and I can tell you that in looking back the best years of my life were when I did not work and was able to be there full time for my family. Money can't buy time and they grow up fast! Best wishes and for me I always find that prayer helps me stay focused and gives me peace!


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